Family

When I love someone and tell them (guys...girls) I mean it, absolutely positively mean it. It's not something I toy with at all. People tell me this is a Virgo thing, haha. Anyways when my older sister met her husband I was 9 or 10. It was kind of like getting another brother, don't get me wrong I love Chris (real bro) but two?? FUCK YES! Gordon saw me grow up, and completely turn into who I am today. I guess where I am getting is that he is no longer in my life really. Monica and Gordon's divorce was finalized the first week of the new year. I know I could never know what really went on in their eleven years together, but it makes my heart break. So my next topic is my brother, Chris. We were always the closest out of the siblings...I would say up until four years ago. Now he is married and expecting a baby in June. We never ever talk to each other anymore. The last time I saw him was on Christmas day, before that it was his wedding in September. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? I get it if your family isn't a tight knit one...but we are. I 100% blame it on his wife. I am aware that it is completely selfish of me to not like his wife and blah, blah, blah. BUT if you have spoken 3 words to her YOU FEEL FOR ME. The first Friday grandchild will arrive in June and for something that should be really exciting, well it's not. I just already feel sorry for the kid. She is family now, but have I ever told her I love her? Will I? I would have to be fucking shitty drunk, and even then I don't think I would. Closest male in my life is Andy. I talk to him every day a couple of times a day.He has become my family. Sometimes I wonder if I will still do this when I'm 30, unfortunately it wouldn't surprise me. In the back of my head I do want to get married someday but at this rate...come onnnn. HAHHA. At least I can joke about it right?

On a brighter side, Maryanne and Andrew seem to be going strong. I just hope that they can surpass all of the bullshit that comes with serious relationships, living together, expectations and such. They seem to be enjoying whatever comes their way.

I've been thinking about all this since I talked to my cousin Jackie the other day. She is 9 months pregnant, actually due any second. Her grandpa is in Laredo dying, and she can't go see him to say goodbye or attend the funeral. She is in Houston waiting to go into labor, and none of her immediate family will be able to be there for her. If I could up and leave I would.

I love you Jackie and I miss you, can't wait to see baby Michael :)